John O'Groats to Lands End for Spinksy

So much for the prompt 8.30am start each day that was planned… The lads phoned in their report at 9.30am, still putting their shoes on and nowhere near a bike.

Brunch on the run, a nourishing malt and hop smoothie:-

A real pootling day for the boys, a mere 77 miles before they safely arrived in Oban (map). Mick has been experiencing severe ‘bum’ problems; however, when he finally examined his cycling shorts he realised he has been wearing them the wrong way round. You have to wonder, even the appealing toddlers in the Huggie ads manage to put their pants on the right way…

Big thanks to Europcar, who agreed to do some hire car ferrying between John O’ Groats and somewhere else at a discount, just £70 rather than the usual £140. Find them on their website at www.europcar.com.

Back to Mick and his bum problems, he has found a curry house in Oban where he plans to kill or cure it later this evening. He has developed a habit of looking in every river they cross to check for salmon – due to the number of rivers in the Highlands this is holding up progress.

Another massive argument has broken out between the bikers, about whether the Caledonian canal’s locks are all in one direction, namely going downhill from West to East – the scientific among you will have already realise the significance of this – namely sea level on the West coast of Scotland is higher than the sea level on the East. We will check it out and let you know later. Thankfully, no new bird species were spotted today so we can leave our twitcher’s handbook on the shelf.

Thanks to everyone who has donated so far. Please help at http://www.justgiving.com/spinksy and add to our current total of £630.

John O'Groats to Lands End Cycle Ride for Spinksy Raising money for the charity "Cardiac Risk in the Young" Mick McQuillan and Martin Robbins Support the lads by sponsoring them at http://www.justgiving.com/spinksy Also don't miss Martin's later blog when he cycled from the UK to Africa in September 2011: Africa or Bust by Bike
Monday 24th July 2006
And they're off! Looking sleek and determined, our lads cut a dash in the North of Scotland. All is going to plan. Following a night of carbohydrate-loading in the local tavern, our heroes managed to manoeuvre their sterling silver steeds to the starting point at John O'Groats. Only a thousand miles of tedium, pain and relentless drudgery separate them from their goal at Lands End. Left John O'Groats at 2:30pm and managed 55 miles today, arriving at their overnight stop at a pub in Helmsdale (map). En route Martin spotted oyster catchers and stone chats, which Mick thought was something you could order with pilau rice. No wonder the stone chat population is declining according to our RSPB book. First argument has been over whether Inverness is smaller than Melton Mowbray. We have promised to investigate further and provide a definitive answer a bit further down the page. Mickey was delighted to see a place named in honour of his passage - namely Latheronwheel. While England basks under a blazing sun, snow still nestles by the side of the road in the Highlands (see below). Thanks to everyone who has donated so far. Please help at http://www.justgiving.com/spinksy and add to our current total of £380.	Human dynamos, alcohol fuelled, air cooled. Mick did wonder if he could do some load redistribution and transfer 3 stone of his body weight to Martin.
Tuesday 25th July 2006
Set off at the crack of dawn (well 10:30am) stoked up on stovies and black pudding. It was a hot and sunny day, so Mick is now sunburnt, just to add to his other problems. They stopped to refuel in Drumnadrochit (map) where haggis in batter and deep fried Mars bars were washed down with pints of 70 Shilling bitter. They spent most of the day climbing a big hill, then hurtling down. Hurtling down so fast that Martin’s brakes heated his tyre so much it melted, resulting in the first puncture of the trip. At the top of the hill Martin spotted a Twite, while Mick moaned it was a hell of trip just to spot a small, brown nondescript member of the finch family. As darkness fell their thoughts turned to somewhere to stay, and then, they thought they had found somewhere, but sadly there was only double bed in the room and the landlady was not prepared to have two men sharing the bed – even though the boys were up for it. We can only surmise that Mick must have been desperate to consider sharing a bed with the snoring champion of the East Midlands! Martin made Mick do an extra 6 miles to find them accommodation, on top of the 100 already done during the day – this for a man who has not cycled more than 50 miles – ever! Finally, they found a suitably expensive hotel in Fort Augustus (map) and managed last orders down the chippie. Thanks to everyone who has donated so far. Please help at http://www.justgiving.com/spinksy and add to our current total of £480. The town size argument resolved: Inverness is a lot bigger than Melton Mowbray, with a population in 2001 of 40,940 while Melton Mowbray’s census results showed a population of 25,554. Inverness is the 16^th largest community in Scotland, just under Glenrothes (where?) and slightly larger than Kilmarnock. Meanwhile Melton Mowbray is about the 310^th largest community in England, just below Newton Aycliffe and a bit bigger than Hoylake. Neither feature in the top 200 cities, towns and districts in the UK. That’s quite enough figures – Ed.	Refuelling with a pint o' heavy in Drumnadrochit Buy, buy, buy. Oh Shit no! Sell, Sell!
Wednesday 26th July 2006
So much for the prompt 8.30am start each day that was planned… The lads phoned in their report at 9.30am, still putting their shoes on and nowhere near a bike. Brunch on the run, a nourishing malt and hop smoothie:- A real pootling day for the boys, a mere 77 miles before they safely arrived in Oban (map). Mick has been experiencing severe ‘bum’ problems; however, when he finally examined his cycling shorts he realised he has been wearing them the wrong way round. You have to wonder, even the appealing toddlers in the Huggie ads manage to put their pants on the right way… Big thanks to Europcar, who agreed to do some hire car ferrying between John O’ Groats and somewhere else at a discount, just £70 rather than the usual £140. Find them on their website at www.europcar.com. Back to Mick and his bum problems, he has found a curry house in Oban where he plans to kill or cure it later this evening. He has developed a habit of looking in every river they cross to check for salmon – due to the number of rivers in the Highlands this is holding up progress. Another massive argument has broken out between the bikers, about whether the Caledonian canal’s locks are all in one direction, namely going downhill from West to East – the scientific among you will have already realise the significance of this – namely sea level on the West coast of Scotland is higher than the sea level on the East. We will check it out and let you know later. Thankfully, no new bird species were spotted today so we can leave our twitcher’s handbook on the shelf. Thanks to everyone who has donated so far. Please help at http://www.justgiving.com/spinksy and add to our current total of £630.	Starting out on Day 3 A change of transport is considered - well it does have the handlebars. "Just wipe it's arse and take the horns off," yelled Mickie, considering it as a lunch option. "I wasn't thinking about eating it," said Martin, "more as a possible new, improved wife!" Quick as a flash came the riposte, "Haven't you had enough of old cows?"
Thursday 27th July 2006
Stiff and saddle-sore following an evening of Scottish-variant vindaloo and Highland dancing our intrepid heroes sallied forth. Er, the road seems to have run out. No, but really, fat lad takes a picture of fat lad - a portly seal basking in the sun on the rocks. Today's report was phoned in from the bar at the ferry port of Brodick on the Isle of Arran, where we find the boys sipping restorative pints under a warm sun. They hope to find accommodation in Ardrossan (map) tonight. Today has been a day of hills. Four huge hills. Mickey fell off his bike. Steep hills and changing gears do not sit well with Mickey and his fancy pedal-clipping shoes. Today's ornithological quota includes gannets, guillemots, mergansers and a dead barn owl (proudly spotted by Mickey). They have covered about 77 miles today and hope to reach England, or be within spitting distance of home country, tomorrow (Dumfries or Carlisle). At a tea stop the lads overtook at couple of cyclists who set off on the same course on Thursday. They were text-book Europeans according to Mickey. Tall, skinny, blond and tanned, with a hurdy-gurdy accent. "They're Dutch or I'm a Dutchman," thought Mickey. "Are you Welsh?" asked Martin to the consternation of all. The ferry looms and the lads set sail, dreaming of a Pizza Hut tonight. Thanks to everyone who has donated so far. Please help at http://www.justgiving.com/spinksy and add to our current total of £673.	Mickey enjoying an early morning hill Maybe not so happy on a later one! But still always the rebel! (WARNING Please switch off all mobile phones)
Friday 28th July 2006
The lads set off from Irvine this morning, as Ardrossan was not up to scratch (it probably didn’t offer sufficient choice of fast food or curry houses) so they soldiered on last night, and ended up staying in Irvine. Today they managed to cycle a respectable 86 miles and are staying in Lockerbie (map) tonight. They actually cycled 85, not 77 miles as originally reported yesterday, and are keen that you are all aware of the actual mileage they are covering and appreciate the suffering they are going through. A huge row developed when Martin, busily ripping pages out of the road atlas to conserve weight, rather carelessly lost the relevant page out of that funny pocket on the back of his garish jersey that so called ‘serious cyclists’ insist on wearing. Mickey had a serious sense of humour failure and called Martin a fkwit for the first time on the trip – we suspect it will not be the last… We also received some tedious information about road numbers they were travelling on, old A74 versus some other road but we were not paying sufficient attention to report this in full. Another argument has developed about when lots of little hills equate one big hill; again we switched off when the boys were trying to outdo each other with clever dickey comments. Thankfully, no bird related news to bore you with today (except for the Famous Grouse in Mickeys hip flask). To operational matters! Mickey’s chain came off today, and, he was horrified that no porridge was on offer for breakfast at the Scottish hotel in Irvine this morning. At tea time the heart monitor thingies reported that Mick had burnt off 3,300 calories while Martin had only burnt off a measly 1,800 and so he felt he had not earned his lunchtime Mars bar. The lunch stop took place at some place called Beattock (map). As we all thought before the ride, because they are doing this ride the ‘wrong way’, the wind has been against them all day. Most trips start from Land's End, the main reason being that the prevailing winds in the UK are usually from the south-west, and so if you are lucky you could have a tail wind all the way to Scotland. The good news! They have now completed over 400 miles, are nearly half way, and should be in England tomorrow. Bad news, the Caledonian Canal question is proving to be quite hard to answer. Meanwhile the lads have been sticking to the old jock adage "Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware, That jaups in luggies; But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer, Gie her a haggis!" If you haven’t yet donated some cash and supported this tremendous effort – all joking apart – the boys are aching big time – so do it now! Click your way to http://www.justgiving.com/spinksy and add to our current total of £833**	From the Isle of Arran to Lockerbie Road aficionados will appreciate this picture of the old A74
Saturday 29th July 2006
Day 6 and the lads are back in England. Another big hill looms. Shap is roughly halfway, so well done to the dynamic duo for getting over the formidable Shap Fell. Martin said it was not so daunting approaching it from the north. Ever since the invention of the bicycle people have been inspired to ride the 'End to End'. The first official time recorded over the distance is 65 days, 16 hours and 7 minutes, ridden on a penny farthing in 1880, and since then the route has been covered on everything from a bed to a motorised bar stool! Today the record is held by Andy Wilkinson who in 1990 covered the distance in an incredible 45 hours, 2 minutes and 18 seconds. The ladies record of 2 days, 6 hours, 49 minutes and 45 seconds is held by Pauline Strong. "I'm on top of the Shap, ma!" If you haven’t yet donated some cash and supported this tremendous effort – all joking apart – the boys are aching big time – so do it now! Click your way to http://www.justgiving.com/spinksy and add to our current total of £833	The lads reach the border . . . and Martin even still has his bike!
Sunday 30th July 2006
After their earliest start at 09:15am, a day head down and pedalling on the A6 and the A49 ensued. The lads have covered 96 miles and travelled down the east side of the Lake District and through the corridor between Liverpool and Manchester. The towns of Lancaster, Preston and Warrington have been left in their wake. Martin managed the first fall off his bike in Kendal High Street. Concerned pensioners rushed to his aid. They finished the day in Whitchurch, Shropshire and are looking forward to some clog-dancing tonight. They aim to be in Monmouth or Chepstow tomorrow and are predicting finishing on Thursday. At this extraordinary rate, people who didn't have more faith in them would be calling for a drugs test! After a slow couple of donation days it's picking up again at http://www.justgiving.com/spinksy. Please contribute to our current total of £883 and let's reward the lads with a charitable donation for their efforts in 4 figures.	From Lockerbie to Whitchurch in Shropshire
Monday 31st July 2006
Mickey didn’t like Whitchurch big time - deciding that the pub they stayed in was run by a descendent of the Bates hotelier family and that the sheets were dirty/not washed – so he slept on top of the bed. Come breakfast time he refused to partake in the full English provided, so they both set off at 8.45am to bike it to Shrewsbury for breakfast. Imagine his surprise when the café in Shrewsbury did not offer porridge! He has been grumpy about it all day. In the interests of protecting our valiant two from slander we will not give the name of the either the pub or café… It has rained – all day - so the damp twosome have washed up in Monmouth (map) looking for some place to stay and a suitable eatery. They have spent some of the day talking about the perfect dinner, and have decide that a shepherds pie would be the dog’s b*ocks – however, at 9.15pm when the report came in we have no idea where they are going to find it and suspect it will be curry as usual. Nearly forgot they have spotted long tailed tits yesterday and want us to update the bird watchers among you. The drudgery is definitely getting to them, and when they are not talking about food, they are hardly speaking to each other, so Mickey has been concentrating on the “Truckers Tizer” seen at the side of the road. The more sensitive among you should look away now. Apparently, our Yorkie Bar munching chums are prone to using empty pop bottles to relieve themselves, and then lob the bottles out the window. Mickey wants to know why the drink of choice of these mainly (and I quote) ‘fat, lazy bastards’ is Lucozade Sport! Answers on a postcard please (recycling?). They are aiming for Taunton (map) tomorrow, when reinforcements may be arriving, super fit bikers prepared to ride alongside and motivate our weary duo. At best it may only be two days to Lands End, with the grand finish on Thursday. Thanks to everyone who has donated so far. Please help at http://www.justgiving.com/spinksy and add to our current total of £1,053**.	Ye Olde Karsi Inn, Whitchurch Roadside anti-cyclist land mines
Tuesday 1st August 2006
Where to start? It was all going so well… Last night our gallant cyclists had a mega row, it rambled on and on and involved - among other things - the House of Lords, Mark Thatcher and Mussolini, one more item and we could have had a “Have I Got News for You” picture conundrum. The fallout. Sadly, we now have a trial separation situation. Mickey set off this morning leaving Martin lolling around in the bath with vague promises to ‘call you later’. As every girl knows, this is often the kiss of death. Undaunted, Martin saddled up and peddled after him but sadly, he had a couple of punctures in quick order. Unfortunately, in the interests of weight reduction, Mick was carrying the only puncture repair kit so Martin was well and truly scuppered. Swallowing his pride he phoned Mick who agreed to turn round and cycle back, but, when he found some motorists facing the right direction waiting at traffic lights he did that irritating cyclist thing and banged on a few car roofs until one agreed to drop the puncture kit off with Martin. He then happily set off again in solo mode. Meanwhile Martin was waiting, and waiting, for the knight in shiny car to rescue him - but there was no sign of him. Dear reader, you would never guess this but the car driver only goes and gets his own puncture – spooky or what! Today’s mileage has been 94 for Martin and 98 for Mickey on account of him retracing some of his steps and they have managed to reach Junction 27 on the M5 which is somewhere south of Taunton, the Tiverton turn off or something (map). However, the separation continues, Mickey is spending the night at Barbara’s gaff in Barnstaple while Martin has opted for a night with Simon. Spooky thing number 2. Imagine Martin’s surprise when he bumped into (not literally thankfully) his brother-in-law pootling along on his bike in the Forest of Dean, small world or what! Sean – for it is he, of End to End fame last year – has agreed to cycle alongside the boys on the run in, once he has checked out the least hilly route he can find through Devon for them. Simon, Martin’s new best friend will also be cycling alongside, let’s hope the encouragement will help them complete this epic journey. Lastly, truly, they are knackered; Mick is now “physically and emotionally drained”, look out for his bike for sale on eBay, probably on Friday. Help heal the rift, make a donation now! As the trip builds to a tumultuous climax don't miss your chance to add to the good cause. Point your mouse to http://www.justgiving.com/spinksy and add to our current total of £1,163.	As they prepare to cross the Severn Bridge, Mickey looks strangely reluctant to leave Wales. Or is he just doing the Asda bottom slap as a salute to a driver who didn't try to give him a golden shower. Turns out he's just got the hump with Martin. Israelis and Palestinians take to the streets to call for a cessation of conflict and immediate reconciliation between the boys.
Wednesday 2nd August 2006
Hurrah!! A sort of truce has been reached and our biking heroes are speaking (well kind of) to each other again. However, for the remainder of the trip Martin will be known as Benny – short for Benito Mussolini while Mickey’s new moniker will be Napoleon, as in the socialist pig in Animal Farm who was more equal than others. Remember poor old Snowball? We do. Whatever – back to the reason we are all here – the cycle ride… The enthusiastic (not!) bikers met up again this morning at Junction 27, after Napoleon had endured something of a wait while Simon led Benny on some convoluted route from the Park & Ride where he had left his car over fields and private drives to meet up. Off they went, with Napoleon now putting up with not one, but two f*kwits, namely Benny and Simon. Simon quickly blotted his copy book by having not one, not two, but countless punctures till he ran out of inner tubes, repair patches and Napoleon’s patience. During the day they climbed a spectacular 5,000ft of height over the Dartmoor hills, and just when you thought they had given up on bird watching, they spotted a Peregrine Falcon. Tonight they are now safely holed up in Liskgeard (map), contemplating a leisurely 75 miles, or thereabouts tomorrow, to reach the goal, the target, the end point or even, the finale of all this larking about on two wheels. Somehow, poor old put upon Napoleon has ended up sharing a room with Simon, while Benny enjoys the delights of a single room. This is despite Napoleon’s plan to bag the single room so he is not best pleased. We do hope the reconciliation is not thrown off course by this latest development. Mind you (and we have saved this bit for last!), Napoleon is feeling slightly embarrassed about his lack of footwear – in the interests of weight reduction he left a pannier at Barbara’s house. Yes, he was quicker up the hills today, but yes, he does look a bit of a knbhead visiting Liskgeard’s pubs and curry houses in his clicky clacky cycling shoes… Come back tomorrow for the final instalment (we hope) of this epic tale of triumph over adversity – you never know, we may even have the answer to Caledonian Canal question! With both Simon and Sean cycling alongside to encourage our weary pedallers the end may be sooner rather than later. Don't miss your chance to contribute to a good cause. Point your mouse to http://www.justgiving.com/spinksy and add to our current total of £1,368.	We've brought along Simon to act as an intermediary I wish we could go over Dartmoor like last year
Thursday 3rd August 2006
Newsflash! Thursday 3rd August 2006. 7.00pm / 19:00 hrs BST They have made it, our intrepid heroes, Benny and Nappy; have finally reached their goal, Lands End! The waiting crowd (well, Lorna, Barbara and the kids) cheered them on to the finish. The final day was a mere 75 miles, with a following wind, encouraged on by Sean, as Simon could take no more and had peeled away from the pack early this morning, Nappy (aka Mick) was horrified this morning when he stood on a pair of scales and found he has actually put on weight during this trip and that his trousers are even tighter. What could have gone wrong with his fool proof if a little drastic weight loss plan? On the plus side, he is looking forward to getting up in the morning and reading a paper rather than clambering onto his bike. His slide into TOGdom starts here… Final falling off score: Benny 3 Nappy 1. Benny made a late recovery in the pratfall stakes and managed two involuntary dismounts today. That’s your lot, it’s over, now you can all get back to Love Island – once you have dug deep one last time for our tremendous twosome, dynamic duo, cycling champs, bonkers bikers – that’s quite enough alliteration for one day. Thanks for reading – and even bigger thanks for all the donations – you have made the boys' pain worthwhile. Welcome the conquering heroes home and contribute to a good cause, by pointing your mouse to http://www.justgiving.com/spinksy and adding to our current total of £1,498. And finally, the answer to that pesky Caledonian Canal question! Leaving Fort William you climb up 4 locks to reach Loch Lochy. You then go down 8 locks until you sail along Loch Ness looking for monsters. Finally a last lock down drops you at Inverness. We can’t remember who was proposing the “locks all in one direction” theory but hope that this info finally settles the argument! Cue The Doors "This is the end, beautiful friend. This is the end my only friend, the end."	Last morning in St. Austell at rendezvous with Sean. Still sticking to their unique diet plan to prevent fat loss. Perhaps the cream buns have something to do with Napoleon's weight gain. Raising money for the charity "Cardiac Risk in the Young" Mick McQuillan and Martin Robbins Support the lads by sponsoring them at http://www.justgiving.com/spinksy

Don't worry you can still donate at http://www.justgiving.com/spinksy